The jostling an chaos of doctors and nurses trying to figure out what is wrong all around seems to happen as if we are not at the center of it all. You are pushed and pulled and connected to devices and speaking becomes unnecessary and maybe untrustworthy in regards to what really matters? And faith in nature / science / magic / god / Buddha/Tao / Shinto/ alchemy / luck / genetics /chemistry all swirls larger than life. As we flop horizontal and pain is some place, the world happens, people who cared and were possibly genetically born to care focus, and in trust and in faith we release panic from being needed, we relax and search for the higher beauty. Those eyes, what great mix of colour! How firm that touch was, the floor has scratches that are rather beautiful as We look between multiple legs and we hear not all the medical jargon, we hear ringing high pitched searing tone high and harmless like a whisper familiar and containing like saw dust on an oil spill. It passively swallows all the acidic sounds and anxieties. We are both all aware and all not there. But beauty? Beauty is everywhere, available at all times. All we ever need to find it is to search for it.